Please, oh PLEASE, don’t spam this website!

(Content Notice: Abortion, miscarriage, Pediatric COVID)

If you spend Too Much Time On The Internet (Like me!) then you’ve probably already heard about a ridiculous anti-abortion website that has recently been created in order to assist with enforcing an equally ridiculous abortion ban.

“Finally! A site where I can pretend to care about children from the comfort of my own home!”
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio on Pexels.com

You may have also heard about various individuals and groups spamming this website. I realize that you are probably tempted to join them, but there are things you must consider first!

After all, when a bully is hurting other children on a playground, interfering just isn’t the American way– The American way is to let the bully break someones nose while we lecture the other children about being nicer to the bully so that maybe the bully won’t hurt them. At least, that’s the vibe I’m getting from the last five years of political and cultural discourse?

So let us be civil, dear readers. Do not spam this website.

Do not take advantage of their anonymous form to send them Shrek Porn, as one tik toker did. Yes, it was hilarious and non-violent, but it is important that we are all very polite to the folks who are ignoring the existence of ectopic pregnancies.

Certainly don’t send any info about the state of pediatric COVID in Texas. To do so would imply that their interest in stopping abortion is more about controlling women than helping children. And that’s bad! Because reasons!

And whatever you do, do NOT send them data that demonstrates just how common miscarriages really are. They believe that pregnancy termination is evil, so to explain to them that their god performs this deed more often than any human would hurt their feelings! Can’t have that!

Obviously, don’t remind them that some trans men can become pregnant. To accept the existence of trans people, and the possibility of their policies harming men….that would just be too much for them!

Additionally, there’s no need to remind them that Abortion existed before Roe and was relatively common. Their fictitious, imagined past of an abortion-free America is very important to them.

Indeed, you should definitely spare them from the reality that Norma McCovey (AKA the “Roe” in R v.s. Wade) was lying when she later became a figurehead for the anti-abortion movement. No need to dampen their day with the complicated details of her life!

Welp, that’s all for the moment. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go protest some neo nazis by sending them polite letters with frowny faces on them. Until next time!

Today is a good day to remember

Today is a good day to remember who you were in 2015.

You don’t need to romanticize the past, or gloss over the bad parts if you don’t want to. You needn’t discard the hard won lessons of the last four years. But if you can, think back to who you were then. What were you doing? Were you happy doing it? What were your thoughts and feelings about the world?

Today is a good day to remember.

Personally, I was a recent college grad turned cashier. Work was rough sometimes, but I got to make music and play videogames on weekends. I had a garden space of my own. I had some lovely housemates, and those lovely housemates had a dog and two cats. It was a happy household. I read poetry a lot. I dreamed of singing opera professionally on a regular basis. I was sending audition material to grad schools. Deep down, I wasn’t sure if I was really “good enough,” though I can tell you now that this particular story has a happy ending.

And today is a good day to remember.

I liked to cook a lot. Sometimes I tried new recipes. I rode the bus to and from work, and so would do small grocery shopping trips on my commute. One day it’d be some sausages that were on sale, another day some mushrooms that were getting sad (and cheap).

Today is a good day to remember.

Sometimes I would ride the bus into town, and simply wander. I’d ponder the stark contrast between where I lived and the wealthier parts of town, and sometimes be upset by it. I’d sit on any bench that was near running water and let the rushing sound ease any pain I was feeling. If it was in the budget, I would treat myself to a used book. Or maybe a beeswax candle. Nothing brightens up a space like the scent of a quality beeswax candle.

Today is a good day to remember.

Remember how your brain worked before Twitter and Facebook became almost inescapable. Remember the times before Lord Dampnut dominated every headline.

Remember when cruelty and apathy was not the norm in so many places.

Back in 2016, Authoritarianism expert Sarah Kendzior wrote this piece. I remember reading it, and trying to take the advice, but not quite understanding it.

Now I do.

It will take time to process what we have just been through. As a nation (and a world) we have been under a lot of stress for a long time. Our brains don’t yet understand that a significant chunk of the danger has passed, so we’ll have to help ourselves along.

Because yes, there will be others like Lord Dampnut. And they’ll probably have nice haircuts and speak with their inside voice, so we need to be ready. Not by stressing ourselves out, but by paying attention and participating in elections in large numbers. The more of us that do this, the harder it is to mess with the process.

That, and there’s plenty of enablers who will go on to write books and try to normalize themselves. Don’t give them any oxygen.

If you, dear reader, are trying to contemplate how to apply the political lessons you have learned in a world where Lord Dampnut is no longer president, then there are plenty of simple things you can do.

Read up on what our new President has been up to. Do you think these actions are sensible? What do you like? What don’t you like? What do you want to see more of? Learn to examine his actions with honesty and good faith. Use those critical thinking skills!

How are things in your local state legislature? Are there any small offices in your community that you could run for?

If you need a month or two to take a break from traditional politics (or if you plan on fleeing into a forest, never to return) how about donating to a food bank? Or tending a garden for pollinators?
And if you (like so many Americans right now) do not have the resources right now for such things, then please find a way to be kind to yourself. Find a weird old public domain story on Project Gutenberg. Take a look at the Pyramids at Giza, or wherever else you would like to see. Or turn the screen off and read an old paper book, if you prefer.

There is still much to do. COVID19 doesn’t care about politics and it’s had a long time to spread. But a large weight has been lifted, and taking care of mental health is not optional.

You are not invincible.

Alright, it’s that time again. Time for the cancer survivor to give all you folks a friendly lecture about what it is actually like to be brought near death by an illness. Because some of you do not get it.

First, a quick content notice for some talk about cancer, bloodwork with needles, and overall medical trauma. Also swear words, because hoooooooooo boy these COVID19 skeptics are testing my patience. And by “testing my patience”, I mean they make me want to flee civilization and live out my days as a forest hag who cackles maniacally at anyone who comes by. It’d be a lonely life, but at least no one with a Guy Fawkes mask as their profile will lecture me about how vaccines are a plot to weaken us before the -insert racist dog whistle here- attack.

I don’t want to paint too dark of a picture. Most Americans are taking COVID19 seriously, or are at least trying to. Yes, a lot of the “skepticism” is manufactured and amplified by bots. Unfortunately, a handful of people really believe that this novel virus (which practically brought the world to a standstill) is simply a cold. You can’t stop cold viruses, right? So best not to try! Open up the schools and bring everyone back to work! The death rate is low, right?

But here’s the thing: Even just 1% of the population of America is still literally millions of people, and there are consequences for letting millions of people die in a short amount of time. Plus, the actual death rate for COVID19 is constantly in flux depending on who you ask. I’ve seen estimates ranging from .05%-5% or even higher, probably because we haven’t been keeping track of this data long enough to be very precise. In truth, the death rate will vary, usually due to differences in local conditions.

For example, we can safely predict that a large city with more hospital beds and ventilators will have fewer deaths than a large city that does not have these things, assuming both of them experience a similar outbreak. Some rural areas might be safer if they have few travelers coming through, but others may succumb to a bad combination of an outbreak and fewer hospital beds. Similarly, availability and methodology of testing can muddy the waters.

And although we don’t know what the exact death rate for COVID19 is at any given moment, we know that it’s significantly higher than than that of the flu. This means that letting the virus burn through the population all at once is, to put into very technical terms, a fucking terrible idea.

But suppose you don’t die. Suppose you’re one of the many more who get a mild or asymptomatic case. You’re in the clear as long as you stay home and don’t infect anybody, right?

Well, not quite.

See, it turns out that COVID19 has some weird side effects that may, or may not be long term or even permanent. These include (but are not limited to) heart damage, lung damage, and even problems with the brain.

We don’t yet know how common these effects are. But we do know that they can potentially incapacitate you for months. The exact rate of infections that carry long term consequences is not known (as of this writing) but according to what little data is available, it’s probably a lot higher than the death rate.

To complicate things further, we now know for certain that reinfection is possible. Mercifully, what data there is so far suggests that such patients tend to do better a second time. But until we know more, we should not assume that recovering from an infection will protect us from a new case down the road. In other words, simply letting the virus “run its course” won’t necessarily get your favorite karaoke bar open and thriving again any time soon.

And by the way, dying from COVID19 is technically suffocating to death. You might or might not be conscious when it happens, but there’s a good chance that the last thing you’ll see is the nurse who helps you. Your family probably won’t be allowed in. I could be wrong, but I strongly suspect we’d see fewer anti-maskers proudly proclaiming that they’re ‘not afraid’ if they knew the full extent of what could happen to them. Dying on a ventilator is harder to romanticize than dying while battling the evil Marxists who want to cancel hamburgers and bibles, or whatever the current story is.

Now, I understand that because the statistical probability of death from COVID19 is usually listed as a single digit number, you think it’ll never happen to you. After all, we can’t worry about everything all at once, and life is already full of stressful things. Why fret over a virus when we already have to deal with other scary stuff, like taxes and parallel parking?

Well, because once a bad thing has happened (such as a dangerous COVID19 infection) the statistical improbability of said bad thing doesn’t help you or your family deal with it. At all.

Having two kinds of cancer at the same time while in grad school is not a statistically common occurrence, but knowing this fact did not bring me comfort while I was experiencing it. If anything, it kind of made it worse. Some people get their degree interrupted with a broken limb or something. But not me! Before cancer, I’d never spent more than 20 minutes in a doctors office. By the end of my treatments, I was so numb to needles for bloodwork that I could actually watch the tip go into my arm and feel nothing while it happened. Ah, the little things they don’t mention in the pamphlets…

By now, you may have pieced together that I am taking some of this COVID19 skepticism a bit personally. And you’re right! I am!

Because I know what it’s like to have faith in the strength of your body, only to have that faith shattered when reality hits the fan. I know that all those empty platitudes about personal responsibility ring hollow when you’ve done everything right and still have fallen sick. I know the pain. And although I’m already doing everything I can in my own life to slow the spread, I can’t help but use every platform I have to try and get the message out.

I should probably hit the brakes now and make something very clear: I do not want you to live in fear. Fear and panic can cause people to make questionable choices, like leasing a sports car or investing in Bitcoin.

Plus, fear and panic can be taxing on mental health. I personally prefer my fear and panic in small doses, specifically in a very few horror movies that I genuinely enjoy and nowhere else. Tremble at the sight of an Alien xenomorph? Sure! Stress myself out over grabbing the mail? Not so much.

But I am a fan of accepting the reality as it is, in order to make good choices. As long as Americans keep ignoring the data and pretending that COVID19 is no big deal, we can’t fix it. Literally. All the efforts of healthcare professionals and those who are willing and able to stay home are essentially being wasted, because the virus is still spreading.

Part of the problem is that many able-bodied people have a knee-jerk reaction to the possibility of a fatal illness. They’ve always been able to assume that their “good choices” (diet, exercise ect.) were enough to keep them alive. Once upon a time, maybe that was me. To accept that you can still die randomly even if you do everything “right” is actually very difficult.

And if you have never had to fight to stay alive during a severe illness (or watched someone else go through the process up close) you have no concept of what COVID19 can actually do to you. You don’t know what it’s like to speak with doctors and nurses about your own death. You can’t fathom what it’s like to contemplate saying goodbye to your friends and family if things go poorly. You don’t understand how it feels to wrestle with pain that goes on for literal months. Plus, there’s paperwork. A lot of it. I hope you carry a detailed history of every doctors visit you’ve ever had, because you will have to produce that information dozens of times.

And don’t assume you’ll be reading novels or sketching out your dream comic book while you’re sick. Powerful drugs and deadly illnesses have side effects. It could be days or weeks before you can read, or even look at a screen without nausea. Maybe you’ll get aches all over your body that make it difficult to do anything at all. Eating and using the toilet may get very complicated. Most of your energy will be spent on surviving. There won’t be room for much else.

You’ll enter a territory where physical strength is practically meaningless. There’s no “powering through” a bad case of COVID19, or chemo, or surgery recovery, or anything that brings you close enough to death. You heal when you heal, and that’s that.

And what if the hospital in your area is sketchy? Maybe you get a bad doctor, or the office double bills you and refuses to correct the error? Tough shit, that’s part of it too. Have fun dealing with needlessly complicated medical bills while your brain doesn’t work right, O lover of freedom and liberty!

What’s that, you’re a little pressed for cash because you haven’t been able to work for several weeks and maybe you’ve been fired? Well, too bad! This is the land of the free, which means we are free to use the least economically efficient system imaginable for healthcare! And can’t you just keep 100,000$ saved at all times for emergencies?

Bottom line is, some of us already know how this goes. And we’re sick of this shit. We’re sick of watching the numbers go up. We’re sick of hearing about how “expendable” human beings are from rich assholes who never have to hear the word “no.” We’re sick of making sacrifices in our own lives so that ignorant fuckwads can make stupid decisions that get more people killed.

No, you are not invincible. But you know what? You’re body is still really cool. Your life is still precious and irreplaceable.

So cherish that body and protect it. Don’t throw yourself into the COVID19 mill just so your boss can get a bonus they don’t need or deserve.

You may not be invincible. But your life is still worthwhile. Don’t let someone with three yachts and no close friends try tell you otherwise.

Black Lives Matter

I haven’t died. I do have thoughts and insights on the latest murders by the hands of police who apparently are NOT accustomed to being held accountable for their actions. But here’s the thing: My complexion is that of a jar of mayonnaise with legs. And one reason why these issues are never really dealt with is because too many white people are REALLY bad at listening. We clutch our pearls about gang violence and drug crimes, but look the other way when law enforcement straight up murders someone and gets away with it. Over. And over. And over again.

So I’ve wrestled with this for the past few months, because I don’t know how much good one more white person on the internet can do. But I suppose I have to try.

So for now, I’ve decided to simply amplify other voices whenever touching on this topic. After all, why spend hours/days writing something that’s already been written? And more importantly, why make this about my own feelings and ego when that mentality right there is part of the problem?

And one more thing:

If you’re nervous about possible violence and destruction at protests, and find yourself finger wagging about Dr. Martin Luther King….

….Then please remember that Dr. King was horribly murdered. Please remember that the FBI spied on him and he was often accused of being a communist (sound familiar?). Please remember that in addition to matters of race, he was concerned with the issue of poverty and helped to start the poor people’s campaign, which has re-emerged under William J. Barber II.

If you’re going to quote the man, you’d better learn the whole damn story.

Lastly, a friendly reminder that mental health is very, VERY important in a time like this. The United States is in a horrible (and preventable) pandemic, and our federal government has largely abandoned us. Those who are willing and able to stay home to protect others are shamed for being “cowards.” That’s not normal, or acceptable.

If you find yourself feeling numb and dead inside, I highly recommend reading poetry or well-crafted fiction. You don’t necessarily need to spend a lot of time doing it for it to have an effect, and you will feel much, much better if you do it regularly.

Stay safe everyone, more writing coming eventually.

When Government works well, it is invisible

Quick note: I know it’s been several weeks, but I do make an effort to fact check and I accidentally passed along some false info about the Dolphins in Venice. That is, they have come closer than usual, but haven’t been seen in the actual canals. Though honestly, at this point, maybe they have? I’m guessing those poor Venetians have plenty of worrisome things going on that might prevent them from filming water for hours. More info about it here:

Ok, so maybe I was a little too ambitious.

Like so many, I THOUGHT this could be a productive time. Was I happy that our world has been plunged into chaos because a few incompetent and selfish “leaders” failed to set their egos aside and take the most basic of precautions? Of course not! Was I excited at the possibility of writing more than once in a blue moon? A little!

Then I learned. Oh, how I learned.

For starters, most human beings are currently reworking their entire lives. I am not an exception. That takes extra mental focus, and the resulting drain doesn’t exactly leave me in the mood to meticulously research some house and senate bills from the 80s and connect the dots to many present problems in drug policy (although that is a fascinating and horrifying topic to study if you have the time and the inclination).

Oh sure, I’ve had more time for reading, and that’s been nice. I’ve made bread. I’ve exercised more. I’ve had more time for meditation, gaming, and hanging out with my roommate and her adorable pet rats.

Unfortunately, a lot of this rings a little hollow when there’s a killer virus sweeping the nation and millions of my fellow citizens are being forced to risk their lives with inadequate pay in order to make rent. That kinda puts a damper on the Buffy The Vampire Slayer marathon if I think about it too much.

It is a tough, tough time to have functional empathy. And an even tougher time for “essential” employees.

No matter how hard I wish for it, I probably can’t single-handedly make Jeff Bezos take a pay cut so that the Amazon warehouse workers are taken care of. I can, however, stay home. So I am. Except for a biweekly trip to the store (which my wonderful room mate usually handles because she has the car) we are staying home. Anyone who can, should. The more consistently we do this, the more lives we save and the more hospital beds we keep free. After all, other diseases haven’t gone on vacation just because there’s a dangerous novel virus tearing through the land.

Besides- when else will it literally be my civic duty to sit on my butt and play Minecraft? I might as well take what joy I can during a pandemic.

So with all this extra time at home, I’ve had a lot of opportunities to think. Most of these thoughts are quite personal, and won’t be shared here. Some of them could be shared here, but are completely frivolous and don’t need to be. For example, I’m still very frustrated at how the eight season long epic Game of Thrones ended. But of course, that’s completely unimportant to the topic at hand.

I didn’t post today to rant about how powerful women in fiction are often wronged by mediocre male writers, though with all this quarantine restlessness, that post may well materialize. Rather, I want to talk about the role of government in society.

And no, I’m not going to lecture you about the second amendment, or try to sell you overpriced gold.

I want to talk about the government. Not as the ten-story high evil giant wizard that people sometimes picture when they think of “The Government” with a capital G. Rather, I want to talk about the government as it really is- a large collection of people and organizations.

People have a tendency to think of the government as a large, singular entity. Depending on their personal experience/which social media feeds they’ve decided to embrace as fact, that force may be good, evil, or neutral.

I’m one person. I have blind spots and confirmation bias, just as any other person. But I find this view to be entirely too simple.

The government isn’t one entity. It’s literally thousands of them.

Libraries. Police stations. Post offices. The courts. The military and all of its branches. Congress and the Senate, as well as state governments. These organizations employ millions of people.

And that’s not even everyone.

Because sometimes the line between the public and the private sector can start to blur. How about public universities? Or public transit systems that rely on public grants? Food banks?

When we look at it from this angle, the question of whether the government is “good” or “bad” becomes absurd. Because it can be both, and often is.

And here’s the difficult part. Rarely do people write a letter to the editor about how friendly their bus driver was, or how that one case worker really came through for them when they were in a bad place. We don’t often hear about the librarian who helped someone find housing, or the aid who talked their boss into upping the grant money for a struggling district. When generic prescriptions are free because of a bill the Senate passed years ago, we don’t think about it. When we have to cough half of our monthly income to pay for a pill that takes pennies to make, we take notice.

When the government works well, it is invisible. When it fails spectacularly, everyone can see.

To be clear, I’m not suggesting that we should turn a blind eye when the government fails. It is critical that we don’t. Rather, I’m suggesting that to truly understand the pros and cons of our various forms of government, one needs to consider a lot of variables and research the topic carefully.

And that’s just not a practical activity for most people.

Most working parents don’t have time to sift through old voting sessions, or read the full text of a policy proposal. Most cashiers and delivery workers won’t necessarily feel like researching their local representatives after nine hours of strangers treating them like garbage.

But the known alternatives to democracy all are pretty terrible, so here we are. The good things that come out of government tend to fly under the radar, and the bad things spill out into the open like radioactive waste into a diaper landfill. Under these circumstances, it can be difficult for the public to make informed decisions about who they should elect.

When word of the $1200 stimulus checks splashed on the interwebs, a particularly irritating meme started making the rounds. There are multiple variations, but the basic premise was that anyone who had posted the words “not my president” in regards to Trump would be hypocrites for taking the money.

This premise is multiple levels of stupid.

Lord Dampnut did not personally give everyone $1200. Rather, he signed off on a bill (that he did not write) that did this, among many other things. That money belongs to all of us. It is taxpayer money, not his personal fortune to bestow upon whom he deems worthy.

However much he would like to pretend to be a king, and however much his supporters want to treat him like one, he is a president. Presidents are not all powerful. That’s kinda the whole point of electing a president as opposed to living under a king. We literally fought a war over this.

More importantly, it was the incompetence of his administration that allowed this pandemic to even reach the levels that made stimulus payments necessary. No one can be expected to perfectly predict every bump in a pandemic, but maybe he could’ve taken it seriously from the start? Praising him for playing a tiny role in the stimulus payments is sort of like praising an arsonist because they took a break from burning down a children’s hospital long enough for firefighters to begin their work. At best, it’s simple ignorance. At worst, it is straight up gaslighting.

And as Whitney Phillips at Wired reminded us back in April, the anti-quarantine/ pro-grandparent sacrificing crowd are actually a minority. That is, most of America is totally fine with enduring some inconvenience to keep their fellow citizens alive. Those who approve of how Trump and his enablers are handling this pandemic actually represent a pretty small group- they’re just really loud, and a handful of them have deep pockets for ad space and astroturfing.

In a way, containing a virus is a lot like writing good government policy. When containment measures are successful, there are few disruptions to everyday life. In 2014, there were some cases of Ebola in the United States. Yet few of us remember that as a “pandemic” because there were relatively few deaths on U.S. soil. Africa was hit quite hard, and I don’t want to downplay the suffering at that time. But my point is that because the containment measures in the U.S. were largely successful, most of us Americans were able to resume our daily lives.

So now that I’ve spent a lot of time describing a problem (fair and effective government isn’t sexy and so it tends to be very fragile) what might some solutions be?

Well, in the short term, we as a people need to vote out the turd and his buddies. But what about the long term? How do we, as a society, help voters to make good decisions without indoctrination into one particular set of beliefs?

Personally, I think it has to do with making critical thinking a bigger priority in earlier education. Both in schools and at home/socially.

I certainly don’t want to bog down our poor teachers with more unfunded mandates, but I think that many existing curriculums could be tweaked to include a little bit about confirmation bias, or the Dunning-Kruger effect. Such things are important to touch on when discussing, for example, the scientific method. Or perhaps a writing class might include a quick presentation about vetting digital sources.

And parents/siblings/friends can help as well. We already have “the sex talk,” but what about the “youtube algorithm talk?”

I’m actually being quite serious. Children and teenagers need to understand that video essays on youtube are not vetted for accuracy. Youtube videos can certainly be helpful or educational, but one needs a process for fact checking. Children are not born knowing this, and so we must teach them.

This is not something that can be accomplished overnight. Rather, it is a cultural shift that is probably going to happen sooner or later because it literally has to. Society can’t function if a significant chunk of the population is prepared to believe dangerous fallacies at the drop of a hat. I know this, because the evidence is playing itself out right in front of us.

In the age of the internet, fact checking and source vetting are not simply tools that your aggressively atheist college professor rants about- they are critical topics that everyone must have some basic grasp of.

And speaking of the internet, now seems like a good time to remind the reader that there are good and wholesome things on this platform as well. I’ve mentioned this before, but I think it’s worth repeating. The internet does not consist entirely of depressing news. There are also videos of animals being great. Patrick Stewart has been providing performances of Shakespeare sonnets on his twitter and facebook pages. These things exist, but you have to make the decision to engage with them.

Democracy will probably always be messy. But as I’ve said before, the whole point of getting fired up about politics and current events is to try and make things better. Otherwise you’re just needlessly raising your blood pressure.

Stay safe, everyone. Be kind to yourself. We’re not going back to “normal” anytime soon, and even as quarantines are lifted and policies shift, the world is going to look a little bit different. Grieve when you need to. But consider the possibility that something better may be ahead. Because as long as we don’t give up, there may well be a brighter future. One where teachers are paid fairly, and grocery store employees can go to the doctor when they’re sick.

Getting into a fight on social media probably won’t bring that future any closer. But hoping, dreaming, planning, and voting? Those things just might help.

Quarantine tips from Donny

(Hey everyone! Quarantine tips are all the rage right now, and for a good reason! But here at “Sing into the Void,” we like to do things a little differently. So I’ve worked some blogger magic and secured a guest post from a TRUMP SUPPORTER! Yes, this is real. It’s definitely NOT a lighthearted joke with the intention of providing some comic relief in these trying times. So say hello to Donny, the guy who lives in a trailer near my house and sells guns online! Or at least he tries to, but he keeps getting shut down. Yes, I’ve talked to him, but Donny likes to do things his way…)

HELLO FELLOW PATRIOTS! This is Donny, and I’d just like to give a few tips for how to deal with this “coronavirus.” I know I know, I wanted to call it by the REAL name that the President uses, but VoidPrincess told me that was “racist” and threatened to blast classical music on her stereo! She’s done it in the past, and if I hear anymore foreign singing I’m worried my dick will fall off. Sometimes we have to compromise I guess. Anyway, here are my quarantine tips! I came up with them with my drinking buddies last night- it was our weekly booze and wrestling match combo, and it’s not gay because we all say horrible things about our wives while we do it.

Check your social media as OFTEN AS POSSIBLE. That’s the only way our wonderful president can cut through the FAKE NEWS MEDIA. Definitely don’t take breaks, or read a book, or talk to your family or anything stupid like that. And remember- if the facebook page you’re going to for news from doesn’t have a confederate flag on it, it’s run by George Soros! Hey there, CNN/MSNBC/NPR/PBS/FOX/My own children/that dumb lady at church who keeps telling me that she’s “concerned” that I might have been “mislead” about the “nature of this virus”, your lies will be EXPOSED!

(Note: I was trying to put my favorite Qanon meme in here, but the LIBERAL BIAS at wordpress is causing me to not remember where I saved it- it was really cool though, it had a skull AND a Guy Fawkes Mask!)

Don’t worry about all that “social distancing” crap that the coastal elites have been pushing. Sure, other developed countries with way better healthcare than us are struggling to keep up with this virus, but that means nothing! This is the best country in the world! If you haven’t sent some old lady to the ICU over a roll of toilet paper in the last week, are you even American?

Don’t let all of this hysteria distract you from the REAL scandal- Democraps nationwide are trying to overturn the 2016 election! And HOW will they do it you ask? By encouraging OTHER democraps to register and vote, so that their candidates get more votes! You heard that right! Our great nation is under siege! From the VOTERS! They pulled the same little stunt in 2018, and now we have a former bartender in congress! DISGUSTING! Call me old fashioned, but I think people ought to get elected to congress the proper way- by being born into a wealthy, white, evangelical family with no genuine understanding of the present economic conditions or sense of civic duty. Otherwise, how can I be sure that my own religion is the RIGHT ONE? I can’t be expected to figure that shit out by myself!

….Now where was I? Sorry, I got kind of a rage boner there. Then Hannity came on and, well, took me a little while to clean up the mess. Anyway, quarantine tips? Oh yeah! Don’t be washing your hands TOO much, or you might turn gay. I’m serious guys! If the dorito dust layer on your hands gets too thin, you might get the urge to actually deal with the moldy dishes, or even worse, deal with that six-month-old-pile of laundry near your bed. DON’T LET THAT HAPPEN! It is GOD’S WILL that your home smell like a pack of wet dogs in a rusted-out car, littered with cigarette butts! Do you want to insult GOD?

Whatever you do, DON’T question your own ideas about the role of government in public health. I know it might seem like a lot of trouble could have been spared if our boy Trump had started prepping for this back in January instead of calling it a hoax and getting mad at reporters when they ask simple questions. But that’s just Trump’s genius! He’s always one step ahead of the curve! By doing the exact OPPOSITE of what most people would have done in his position, he’s owning the libs EVEN HARDER!

Well, I have to go now- There’s a lady reporter on the TV saying mean things about Trump, and if I don’t send death threats to her on the internet, WHO WILL? But anyway, DON’T READ THIS BLOG EITHER. I only agreed to guest post because VoidPrincess gave me a jar of weed. I know that all of this will go WAY OVER her head, but that broken arm of mine has really been smarting lately and I don’t have health insurance. I was using beer to help with the pain, but according to my kids I have a “problem” and “crashing your truck into the church luncheon” makes it “awkward” for the family. Anyway, stay strong patriots! MAGA!

Well, now there’s REALLY no excuse….

….For Bloggers like me. Wheeeeeeee quarantine!

I’m currently in the fun-but-stressful process of shifting my musical teaching and performance services to online formats. It might be a bit before I can churn out any decent long reads, but I do have some useful tidbits to share:

First and foremost, make sure you’re getting your news from a good source (No, headlines on Facebook that you haven’t fact checked don’t count) If you’re short on cash, the Washington Post has a free COVID19 newsletter that is available to non-subscribers. Don’t panic, but DO take this seriously.

Second, STAY THE FUCK HOME IF YOU ARE ABLE TO DO SO. Labor protections are CRAP in the US, and a lot of important services are currently propped up by low-wage employees with no health insurance or hazard pay. The best thing you can do for those folks right now is not make things worse. This is bigger than any one of us, so don’t be an asshole.

Third, don’t lose sight of the politics going on behind the curtain. Between Trump’s incompetence, and the cruelty of senate Republicans for the last decade (remember how the ACA was supposed to have a public option and WOULDN’T THAT BE HELPFUL RIGHT NOW??) this crisis has been made MUCH worse than it had to be.

While I will be very thankful for any cash stimulus I receive (assuming it doesn’t just go to airlines and hotels, which it might) I’m certain that the GOP will try to spin this in their favor come November. Don’t let them. No mercy for those fuckers.

Finally, a few words of comfort. Or an attempt at them, anyway.

Today in the spring equinox. For Witches and Pagans, it is usually called “Ostara,” and we LOVE to argue about whether or not that name is related to the word “Easter” of the Christian holiday. But that’s not important now.

The important thing is that we can draw comfort and inspiration from what the natural world around us is doing, regardless of our personal faith (or lack thereof). Right now, at least in the northern hemisphere, life is awakening and there is great change. Winter is falling away, and the buds are opening.

The US is learning a hard lesson. One that the youth and the working class have been screaming from the rooftops for years: that the “I got mine and fuck you” approach to wealth distribution has its limits. To get through this, we’re going to have to change. COVID19 is extremely contagious, and it doesn’t care whether or not you have a stocks portfolio.

I don’t want to make light of the suffering and loss of life that has happened. I don’t want to lie to you and tell you that everything will be fine. It won’t.

But there are bright spots. The drop in pollution, which might buy us a little bit of time with climate change. The Dolphins in Venice, which have become a symbol for what could be possible if we all adjust our behavior.

And of course, as working from home becomes more acceptable out of necessity, perhaps companies will begin to understand that the sky won’t fall if they hire more disabled people who may need to work from home regularly.

Oh, and pointless meetings that could have just been an email? Those are all emails now. Finally.

In a similar vein- if you’ve enjoyed this blog, and you have five bucks you can spare (ONLY IF YOU HAVE A GOOD JOB THAT ISN’T GOING AWAY DURING THIS CRISIS PLEASE NO ONE GIVE ME THEIR FOOD/RENT MONEY) that would be very helpful. I have a good safety net saved up and I’m ok for now (and will be for the near future) but I’ve lost a couple of students who didn’t want to make the switch to online lessons and things are uncertain with my church gig (for now they’re continuing to pay us, but if their own resources get too strained they may need to stop). So yeah. Help would be nice if you can offer it, but please PLEASE take care of yourself first.

Stay safe all ❤